76 Totally Random Thoughts a Manager Has on the Drive Across Town to the First Match of the Spring Soccer Season

…I did remember to bring my player card, didn’t I?…I hope they mowed the pitch and the grass isn’t too long…The game is at 4:00 P.M., right? Yes, the schedule clearly says 4:00 P.M….Man, that would totally suck if the league changed the start time and I didn’t notice it…Got jerseys? Check…Even though we are the away side, I should have brought the corner flags and nets just in case the other team forgot…I wonder if that new guy is going to be at the match today…I did tell everybody to show up at 3:30, didn’t I? Yeah, I remember sending the email…Let’s see, it is 2:30 now, so even if traffic is really slow through the tunnel and getting onto I-84 is bad I should still get to the field with, um, fifty minutes to spare…I hope that isn’t cutting it too close…My wallet did have my player card, didn’t it?…Oh, I like this song!…”He scores, oh, what a finish!”…Did I stuff the roster into my bag? Or did I put it with the jerseys? Bag–definitely bag…Maybe it is with the jerseys…I should pull over and double check…Duh, it is right here in my bag…Do I need to fill up with gas? No, I should be fine to get to the game and back…Is that a game ball I hear rolling around in the back?…I really should wash the inside of the Escape out…Is that my phone?…Oh, wait, I can’t legally answer my cell phone when I drive in Oregon anymore…I wonder if I can look at the phone and get pulled over for a ticket or if I actually need to be using the phone?…Is that my phone ringing? I thought it was set to vibrate…What if one of my guys needs a ride and I don’t answer the phone until I get to the field and then I’m too far away to come back and pick them up?…I should ignore the phone-like sound coming from my gym bag…I should pull over and check to see if that is my phone…Can I pull over here?…OK, so that was not my phone ringing…Will this guy let me merge back onto the freeway?…KISS MY ASS, BUDDY!…Wouldn’t that be ironic if that guy was on the other team?…Was it my indoor soccer player card I have in my wallet or was it my outdoor league card?…I’m sure it was the right card…Those mud stains didn’t come out of the yellow kits from the scrimmage last weekend…We should totally get dark jerseys some day…Black jerseys would look killer…Now THAT is definitely my cell ringing…Oh, it is just “Viva la Vida” on the radio and not my ringtone…Man, I hope we win today…What time is it now, 2:45?…Did I take ibuprofen before I left?…OH MY GOD I FORGOT MY BOOTS!…Oh, there they are on the seat…Crisis averted…I hope [Player Name Removed to Maintain Privacy] shows up today as it has been a while since I’ve seen him…I can’t believe United didn’t win this morning…Please don’t let us get killed today…”I get knocked down, but I get up again! You’re never gonna’ keep me down!”…I did put the pitch keys in my pocket, right?…Crisis averted…I think grape flavored Powerade is pretty tasty…If every single guy on the team showed up, I’m pretty sure I’d have enough shirts to go around…I should have quadruple-checked the start time before I left the house because that would be friggin’ awful to get there and find out the match was at 2:00 and not 4:00…I hope Kiki plays well in her game today…You know what would be totally awesome? If they would play recreational soccer divisional championship matches at PGE Park before a Timbers match. I know it is not practical in any way, shape, or form, but it would still be really cool…I’d really like to score today…I hope the Port-O-Potty got delivered this week…If I start [Player Name Removed to Maintain Privacy] as a holding middie, should I then use [Player Name Removed to Maintain Privacy] as a reserve or as a striker?…My left ankle is still a bit sore…Is it weird that at age 39-1/2 years I still get pre-match jitters like I did in the third grade?…”We’ve got the world in motion and I can’t believe it’s true”…I wish my dad could still see me play…Did I email [Player Name Removed to Maintain Privacy] and tell him what time the match was going to start?…Is that rain? In Oregon? That’s crazy!…Seanny, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and dog gone it, people like you!…I did get all of the kits out of the dryer, didn’t I?…Black jerseys would definitely be bad ass…Almost there, I can see all of the cars parked along the street…”You’re going home/You’re going home/You’re going home in a f**king ambulance!”…Oh, man, I have to park like three blocks away!…Get your head in the game, Seanny!…Are you ready for some football?!…”Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn! Augen-auf ich komme!”…GAME ON BABY!!!

…I better check and make sure that player card really is in my wallet, after all…

Category: Orange Slices and Aspirin